THE ACHING IN MY HEART

This is Master Chef James---What's Cookin'?

How did I get to the point where I am right now? I know that it was through my choices, keeping promises, having Faith, and trusting in the Lord. I hope that my children will always know what direction they are going in life. I hope that they can have good lives and be happy with who and what they are.

Michael and I have been blessed with three fabulous children. I just don't know what happened to my sweet little babies that used to keep me up all night. Michael says that we both blinked and they grew up--just like that.

Michael and I got talking about James leaving for college last night and I could feel the emotion and the impact of that settling in on me. The flood gates broke and I had to have a cry because of the aching in my heart for my son who will be leaving in about six months to go to college. I am not ready for him to leave our home. I am not ready for him to be on his own and be his own man. I have not taught him everything he needs to know about keeping house, budgeting, laundry, sewing, and the female gender. I just feel like I have not had enough time with him and now he is going to leave and only come back home as a visitor. That is just a hard thought. He will to school, he will go on a mission next year, come home, go back to school, and then get married. My heart is just not ready for all this. I love my James and he will be greatly missed when he goes to college. I just hope that as he leaves our home, he will always have fond memories of his childhood. I hope that he will miss us as much as we will miss him. I think that we will all have aching hearts when that separation happens. But, until that time, it's party time!!!
P.S. just FYI---Provo High School took first place at the Prostart competition. They have won it the last six years in a row. That is my alma mater!!! Go Bulldogs!

I AM OFFICIALLY A QUEEN!!!

I got my new crown yesterday and so I am a true Queen!!! I thought it would be a very simple and quick procedure. I mean all they had to do was snap it in place and glue it in. Right!? I was there for about an hour and fifteen minutes while the dentist tried to get that crown on and make it stay put. I am really tired of having things done in my mouth and feeling so much pain that I can feel the tears stinging my eyes. Yesterday was one of those experiences. The dentist ended up giving me six shots to get me numb so that he could cut away the gums so that the crown could fit into place. The numbing medicine makes my heart just race and makes me so light headed. I felt like I was going to be sick I was so light headed. Needless to say, the crown finally fell into place, it is glued and is holding, my gums are so sore today, but I finally have a tooth where there has been a space for one year. I hope it is worth all this when my mouth is finally healed up and I can eat on that side again. Michael said that I didn't need a crown to be his queen, I have been his queen for 20 years!!!

WHAT IS YOUR MARRIAGE WORTH?

Michael and I have been married for over twenty years now and we certainly love each other more now than we did twenty years ago. But we still want to have a relationship with each other that is growing and is exciting. Since our marriage means so much to us, we decided to attend a Marriage Conference at Weber State on Friday night. It was a great date night activity--Michael's planning, of course.

There were so many good points brought out in the conference that I don't want to forget and Michael and I really want to implement them into our marriage.
Here are a few of the really good points to remember--this is for both of us:

Prove your love for your spouse by spoiling them every day!!! Wow--what a concept.
Michael and I talked about this one on the the way home and sometimes it is hard to know how to do that. You have to talk about those things that your spouse does that makes you happy and makes you feel loved. Open up and be honest about it.

Remember the three "L's" and the "T"----Look, Laugh, Listen and Touch. Do these four things everyday with your spouse. Look at each other and notice your spouse: their eyes, the color of their hair, just anything that you see in them and compliment them. Laugh with your spouse several times a day--be silly. Relax and don't be so serious all the time. Listen to your spouse--really listen. Listen to what their heart is really telling you. Touch each other: either by a kiss, a pat on the shoulder or a big bear hug. Make that connection with each other through touch.

Men want to feel: Accomplished, that they are contributing, and that they can save the lady--be our knight in shining armor.
Women want to feel: Like they are seen or noticed, they are beautiful, and that they can make the world more beautiful.

There is so much to learn about relationships and how to improve upon them. I listened very carefully to all that was said and I really want to improve my relationship with Michael and our children. I really want to create a safe ground for Michael so that he feels like he can talk to me about anything and not feel threatened by me and my feelings. We have opened up our hearts and talked about some feelings that we have and we both agree that we want our marriage to be green and growing--not ripe and rotting. We feel closer and I love that feeling. I just wish that I could keep that feeling forever. I know that I need to change some things and focus more on Michael than on my own selfish needs. I married a wonderful man and I am a much better person today because of his great love and example for me.
I feel so blessed to be married to a man who is sensitive to me and my needs. Thank you Michael, I love you so much. May our days be filled with good things to contribute to our true happiness together. I love my life with you.
I promise to make you feel more loved and do my very best to spoil you every day.

BRYNNA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!

Happy Birthday to our Brynna who will be a big thirteen tomorrow. I can't believe that my baby is a teen-ager. She was born on a very snowy winter day. The power was out all over the area and the roads had not been plowed. The only reason that we were even out on the roads that day was to go and have a baby. We are so thankful that she is a part of our family. She is a sweetheart with a huge heart and is always doing good things for other people. She is happy and is very talented in singing and loving everyone. We love our Brynna and wish her a wonderful day tomorrow.

WHAT A BUNCH OF PROS!!!!

This was their menu: Teriyaki salmon, miso soup, wonton apple dessert.
Doesn't it all just look so yummy?


Zach, James, and Keegan--Prostart Team #10


This was the team on Wednesday. James, Keegan, and Zach. They worked very well together, in fact, they probably worked better with just the three of them than they did with four. That was a blessing for them--they worked as a team.

Michael and I went to see them at the competition. James was so surprised to see his Dad there, too. It was really hard to see anything because they were on the very back row and it was really dark in the room.

They had a great time and their food turned out beautifully. The only glitch they had was that the dessert was supposed to have some whipped cream on the top but it all spilled out of the container en route to the competition. Oh well, it looks great. They all agreed that it was their best effort ever.
We won't know the results until May.

I love to have teachers tell me how great my kids are and it was payday on the day of competition. James' teacher just told us what a very nice young man he is. She made him the "Lead" of the team because he did whatever she asked him to do, no questions asked. She has really helped and inspired these young men with her own cooking skills and her fun way of teaching. She has just been amazing at our school.
It was a fun day and those boys were quite exhausted when they were done.
GREAT JOB TEAM!!!!!

BIG DAY!!!

Today is a big day for James. It is his big Prostart competition. They have already started of on a negative note, one of their team members is too ill to participate in the competition. Now they are one man short and will have to do some double duty at times during the preparation. He was so excited this morning and so ready to go and get started. We wish James and his team the very best of luck. We hope that today is their very best EVER!!!! I will keep you posted. I will be attending the competition and looking forward to watching James' team take first place.

GOOD NEWS!!!

Never a dull moment at this house. With my three children and husband, there is always something good going on in our home. Kae Lee had to take her driving test on Friday and passed with flying colors. She was pretty excited and proud of herself. She still has to drive on the range at school but she passed the hard driving test.
James was notified by BYU that he has been accepted for the Fall semester with a tuition scholarship. We were so excited and proud of our James. I think that he is getting excited about going to college and living on campus. Brynna babysat three little boys all day on Saturday and lived to tell the tale. It was a long day for her.

Michael and I celebrated V-day on Friday night. We ate dinner at a really nice place where they serve you all the yummy meats you can eat. We got in on the lunch special so the price was right. Then we went to the Bountiful Temple to witness the sealing of some good friends of ours--Todd and Dana. What a great place to be--in the Temple--to celebrate V-day. I love my sweetheart and so thankful that our marriage was done in the right place, the right time, by the right authority almost 21 years ago. And I love him so much more now than I did on that wonderful day.

Saturday--Valentine's Day-- was kind of a strange day. James' team lost their game on Saturday but it was really fun watching him play--he is a good little player. Kae Lee was babysitting two children in our home while their parents went out. I offered to take on two more children so their parents could go out. What a crazy house it was with those four little ones running around and screaming at each other. Michael was a good sport and helped me entertain all those little ones. It made us realize why the Lord gives us our children while we are young. It was a long night but we had fun with those little kids, they didn't want to go home when their parents came to get them. It was a differet V-day for us-but it felt good to do service for someone else. I will plan better for next year. I love my Michael!!

WHAT A BLESSING!!!

James prepared well in advance to receive his Patriarchal blessing. He fasted and prayed so that he could be ready to hear those incredible words that would be shared with him from our Stake Patriarch. Wow--what a blessing it was. I already thought he was an incredible young man, now I know that our Heavenly Father feels the same way. James has his work cut out for him as he prepares to go on a mission in a little over a year. I know that he will be a great influence on many people as he strives to serve and be obedient in all things. He is one great one young man. Michael and I feel so blessed to have him as our son.

Kae Lee had to go driving at 6:00am this morning and she has not felt well all week. She has caught an awful cold and she has rubbed her nose until it is bright red. We strongly encouraged her to go this morning in spite of her not feeling well. We knew that if she didn't go, the other girl driving with her would lose out on her opportunity to drive today also. Kae Lee was quite nervous about going driving with someone she didn't even know. She had to drive first, in the dark, and on roads she wasn't too familiar with. She called me from school and said that she was still alive. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!!!! I know that this driving business is scary and nerve racking---for both of us. She is gaining confidence and doing quite well. I know that she will just get better and better as she continues to drive every day this week. Good Job Kae Lee

UNEXPECTED FIRE DRILL

Poor Brynna called this morning at about 9:00am and said that the school had been evacuated because the fire alarm had gone off. She told me that they had to stand outside in the snow for about 45 minutes. Yes---it has been snowing all morning today and it just so happened that all those Junior High kids had to stand out in the lovely snow while the fire department checked out the problem inside.
By the time the kids could go back inside the building, they were all soaked from top to bottom. Poor kids. Brynna was so cold and just very wet from her jacket down to her soaking wet shoes. I took her some dry clothes so that she could be warm and dry. What a great way to start her Monday. Most thankful that she was safe and that it wasn't a real fire drill. The school was a mess with all the parents coming to either check their children out of school or just to bring them some dry clothing and shoes. What a crazy Monday.

WHO SAID THEY COULD GROW UP?

This is an old picture of our family---we are always changing.


I know that we raise our children to be independent and be on their own someday, but I am not sure I am ready for that stage in life. These are good days with my children and I get sad whenever I think about James going away to college in the fall. Kae Lee is learning how to drive and if that isn't a sign of growing up, I don't know what is. Brynna is developing into a beautiful young women who is very sensitive to all the "yuck" she hears and sees at school. It bothers her and she wishes that there was something she could do about it. Oh the joys of Junior High life.

I love my children so much. I just wonder if I am teaching them everything they need to know to "go out into the world". I can't possibly have a son turning
eighteen next month or a daughter turning thirteen this month or a daughter turning sixteen in May. What happened to those little babies I used to have? At times I want them to stay the ages they are and keep their sweet innocence. But, I know that is not possible so I must enjoy these precious times now. I feel so blessed to feel such a closeness with my children right now. I just hope that never leaves when they leave this place they call "home".

Getting new tooth!!

I went to the dentist today and got fitted for my new crown. After almost one year, I will finally have a crown where there has been no tooth. I had to have a root canal done twice on a tooth and ended up having it extracted anyway. What a pain it has been---literally. I am tired of having work done on my mouth. Right now, I have a metal post poking up in my mouth and it looks and feels really strange. I have never had a dental implant before and this has been quite the learning experience. I am sure that it will be worth all the bother when it is all finished. But for two weeks, my tongue is just going to keep playing with that metal post in my mouth. Can't wait to get my new tooth--well--- crown anyway. Hope this lasts forever.